Next life: ostrich!

I have been on the hunt for an amazing pair of boots for awhile now.  A nice, polished pair of almost-knee-high boots, preferably black, maybe a nice shade of brown.  I've come across a few, but they never fit, because my calves are too wide.  And my legs are too short.  I found a great pair from J.Crew.  I requested the measurements, and measured my calf, and they were allegedly going to fit.

I say allegedly, because I got them earlier this week, and they "fit", but they don't.  I bought extended calf to get a little extra room, and they're a tad too long, and still a bit tight.  I know they will probably stretch, but the truth is, I'm just not a boots person.  But still.  IF I WERE, it'd be nice to find a nice pair that fits.  Stupid calves and short legs.

So I decided.

In my next life*, I'm going to be an ostrich.  This is going to be amazing on so many levels.  First off, I'm going to be a bird, and I kind of always wanted to be a bird.  I'll have pretty long legs.  I'll be able to run at sustained speeds of 30 mph.  Imagine that - long, skinny legs (perfect for boots - I'll need them, because I'll have really ugly toes), and I can run really fast.  Awesome.  (There are cons, sure, but let's just focus on the awesome things.)

Also, look at how cute I'll be!

Marek decided he'd be a turkey vulture, his logic being that then he can be as disgusting as he wants, and no one will care, because it's practically expected of him.  Hmmm....he also says he sees the resemblance in the picture below. :)

*No no, just kidding. I don't believe in a next life.