Random round-up (including why I'll never go back to the Olive Garden in Times Square)

First a couple of addenda to other posts from this week:

• Other things that gets the hater in me going: when people say Victoria's Secrets, when people chew their gum like a cow chewing on cud, when people chew with their mouths open, when people talk really loudly in public places without any consideration for other people, when little children act badly at the movie theatre
• Other nicknames for Mr. Claudius: Stinks, Stinkers, Stinkbug, Stinkerdoodle

Now onto why I hate the Times Square Olive Garden.

Marek and I went there for a late lunch today.  The last time we tried to go to Olive Garden, it was in the evening on January 1st, which was a huge mistake.  We could barely get in the door.  Today there was no wait.  As usual, with a big chain restaurant in New York, everyone assumed we were tourists, visiting on vacation or something.  Hello, chain restaurant workers - some people like chain restaurants.  Some people like the Olive Garden, and I don't think it makes me uncultured, stupid, or ignorant to live in "The Greatest City on Earth" and go to an Olive Garden.  I don't care if you're disappointed and can't believe that I would go there.  Frankly, you can bite me.

So we're sitting there having a nice time, and the people behind Marek are being very loud.  There were only four of them, but one couple was doing most of the talking, and here's what we learned about them (because apparently they were intent on making sure the entire restaurant knew all about their private lives):

• The talkers' names were Erica and James
• They live together
• They live about a block from the Forest Hills subway stop
• They have a friend named Dan who likes to buy drinks for people because he's rich
• They have a friend named Kevin who got Dan to spend $120 on drinks in the span of about 20 minutes
• Erica is in grad school and working on her thesis
• Erica is studying in a field in which the Master's degree is not very competitive
• James drank a bottle of Jack Daniels recently and had a second one waiting downstairs
• James has three sisters and a brother
• One of James's sisters is about 5'7" or 5'8"
• James is Erica's first boyfriend who is shorter than her
• Erica got a 690 on whatever standardized test she had to take to get into grad school
• Her friend got a 720 on same said test

Now I'm not one of those people who think you shouldn't talk at a restaurant.  Talk all you want.  But please don't talk so loudly to the point that I know that much about your life.  Besides the fact that NO ONE ELSE IN THE RESTAURANT CARES, why would you want complete strangers knowing that much detail about your life??  

But the real reason we're not going back there EVER is because the Olive Garden in Times Square automatically tacks on a 15% gratuity during dinner service and for the entire weekend.  They sort of sneak into onto the bill, and you don't have the option to decline this gratuity.  I'm assuming they do it to ensure that tourists don't gip servers out of a good tip, but it becomes an issue because at NO point during our entire trip were we made aware of this policy.

There is no sign anywhere, no one tells you about this, it's not on the menu, and the server certainly didn't point it out when she brought us our bill.  We had to flat out ask her about it, because they just stick it on the bill, and it's included in the overall total, without any explanation.  

A tip is not mandatory.  A tip is supposed to be for good service.  What happens if my service is bad?  (Ours was not exemplary by any means.)  Then I have to ask for the manager, explain that the service was horrible and that I don't feel the server deserves a 15% tip.  AWKWARD.  The worst part is that the server lost out in our situation.  We normally tip 20%, even for just okay service - it takes a lot for us to tip less than 20%, and we've tipped more than that for very good service.  But we were so incredulous at this forced tipping that we "only" left her 15% (and we can talk about how the "minimum" tipping amount has been slowly creeping up some other time).

In our server's defense, she offered to get the manager to have it taken off the bill.  That's not what we wanted - we felt that she deserved that tip and made sure she knew it.  But we strongly objected to being forced to give her whatever Olive Garden deemed appropriate, without having any say in it, and we really objected to the sneaky way in which they just throw it on the bill like it's no big deal.

Because the only time this isn't enforced is during weekday lunch, I can promise you that we won't be going back to the Olive Garden in Times Square ever.